Saturday, March 29, 2008

A good break

I'm having an amazing weekend. My sis came over to visit and I have just hosted a charity event in my studio. So many female friends....so much understanding....so much fun.

I didn't realize how much I needed to do something like this....reach out and help someone else who is disabled in a completely different manner than diabetes.

And hubby has tolerated our 5 house guests quite well.

But I wonder if we are getting close to daytime depends. He was doing something a couple of times this weekend where he had to run to the bathroom and the sounds I heard, I knew it was diahrrea. And if I can hear it...then all my houseguests can hear it as well. I wasn't embarrased at all, but a couple of them were. I guess when you live with it, you get used to it and then you forget what someone else might think when they hear it.

So do I quit having friends over? Do I explain to them how seriously ill he is? Do I just ignore it and act like no one else can hear it? Do I turn the stereo on so loud no one will hear it?

Is it just another step in the process? I think I finally realized the truth about why we no longer go to movies. He can't sit through one. Will we stop going out at all because he needs to get to a restroom in a hurry? Or will he wear depends in the day? And my next question...if you have diahrrea that bad....you still need to be near a bathroom...even with depends on. How does one handle that?

I think perhaps my greatest fear is that he will be housebound. Oh what am I thinking? If he goes on dialysis...we won't be traveling anywhere.

More loss. More steps to grieve. More changes.

More reasons to enjoy weekends like this!

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